Wordless Wednesday: 4 Generations

Aellyn (5 1/2 weeks), Aellyn's mom (33), Aellyn's Grandma (57), Aellyn's Great Grandma (79)

Secret joys and secret smiles

Cradle Song
by William Blake
Sleep, sleep, beauty bright, Dreaming in the joys of night; Sleep, sleep; in thy sleep Little sorrows sit and weep. Sweet babe, in thy face Soft desires I can trace, Secret joys and secret smiles, Little pretty infant wiles. As thy softest limbs I feel Smiles as of the morning steal O'er thy cheek, and o'er thy breast Where thy little heart doth rest. O the cunning wiles that creep In thy little heart asleep! When thy little heart doth wake, Then the dreadful night shall break.

FIve for Friday: My Husband

5 random things I love about my husband.

1. He makes the world's best peanut butter and jelly sandwich - whole wheat white bread, extra crunchy peanut butter, blackberry preserves with seeds, sliced on the diagonal.  mmmmm.
2. He is smart.  I've had people think before that we are unequally matched because I went to graduate school and he has an associates.  In reality that only shows our differing student loan debts!  He is intelligent and we always have the best conversations. (I'll forgive the fact that he finds finger skateboards interesting).
3. He is side-splittingly funny.  He can always make me laugh with little silly things he does that no one else would find the least bit funny.
4. He is sexy.  In so many ways.  Of course I was attracted to him physically when we first met 10 years ago but there are other ways I find him sexy.  Hearing him opine a feminist ideal at a party is such a turn on.  Seeing him with his new baby daughter melts my heart.  Seeing him cry during The Notebook makes me happy to be growing old with him.  Seeing him cry at the end of King Kong makes me want to laugh and hug him delirious.
5. He sees in me the person I want to be.  He makes me want to be a better person.  I know that sounds corny but it is just so true.  Whoever said marriage is limiting is crazy.  I'm able to fly so much further in life with him as my home base.

What do you love about your partner?

Welcome to the Party!

Welcome to my virtual home!  Come on in and make yourself comfortable!

If you are visiting from the Ultimate Blog Party 2009 - Welcome!  If not, you are invited in too and while you're at it visit the other bloggers' parties at 5 Minutes for Mom .

I want to tell you a little about myself and invite you to explore my blog but it wouldn't be a party without games!  

WOW!  Remember that game?  Remember Atari?  Am I dating myself?

My blog is currently in transition...like a virtual redecorating.  My blog began three years ago to help me deal with my inability to have a baby .  I could have never imagined at the time the wonderful community  that existed online.  I've made many wonderful friends at Cycle Sistas and other bloggers at Stirrup Queen's Blogroll .  They supported me when I had a rough cycle and celebrated with me when I finally got pregnant and had my daughter.

whoa...getting ahead of myself!

In 2008, 8 1/2 years since my hubby and I started trying to conceive we applied for a grant with the Partnership for Families at the Cleveland Clinic .  Here is the letter I wrote that got us the money for our in vitro fertilization cycle.

A little over 5 weeks ago I finally became a mommy !


Now I'm starting my adventure as a mother!  I continue to offer support to my friends in the trenches of infertility by volunteering at Cycle Sistas.  I also love meeting new bloggers talking about attachment parenting , breastfeeding , co-sleeping , green/natural parenting (including lots of research on vaccines ), etc.

Please Follow Me if you are on Blogger.com or leave me a comment with your URL and I'll add you to my Google Reader for my blogroll !  Thanks for stopping by, enjoy the party!

Follow Me!

Since my switch to blogger I haven't explored all the new options for blogrolls. I'm going to start using the "follow me" feature. I'm a Google Reader junkie and blogger follow me syncs well. So if you blog on blogger.com follow me by clicking on the button on the far right column. I will reciprocate! If you aren't on blogger I would still like to add you to my blogroll with Google Reader - leave a comment and I'll add you too.

Wordless Wednesday: Sneezes and Hiccups and Burps, Oh My!

Breastfeeding Affirmations

This article at Kelly Mom should be required reading for new breastfeeding moms (actually the whole site is a godsend - bookmark it!).  My baby fusses or cries during nursing - what's the problem?
It seems that no matter how much you tell yourself otherwise it is just instinctual to assume you are doing something wrong when you baby isn't happy.  In the evenings Aellyn is very fussy from 6-11 PM.  She wants to nurse non-stop.  I'm fortunate that nursing works - some babies fuss no matter what you do.  It is easy to get caught up in what I'm doing wrong.
"She's not getting enough milk."
"I'm spoiling her."
"I'm tied to a baby!  I'm going crazy!"
"How am I going to handle it when I go back to work?"

Doubt is an insidious force.  So reading articles like the one above helps me focus on how well things are going and how normal everything is and that I CAN DO IT.  So I thought a good idea would be to use the same method I used for preparing to childbirth - positive affirmations.  How about some breastfeeding affirmations:

1. I am a good at breastfeeding.
2. I am making plenty of milk for my baby.
3. My baby is getting all the nutrients she needs from my milk.
4. My baby is getting comforting and love from nursing.
5. It is ok if my baby nurses frequently.  Babyhood passes fast and this time is worth it.
6. When my baby fusses it is not a reflection of my parenting or my ability to nurse.
7. When baby spits up it doesn't mean she is reacting to something I ate.
8. I feel loved when she falls asleep while nursing.
9. My baby is gaining weight like a champ.

Can you add any others?

Baby Acne

Poor Aellyn has baby acne. :( Her perfect soft skin looks so irritated. It is hard to not "do" something about it. I'm trying breastmilk since it is anti-bacterial and anti-viral. Breast milk has lots of uses I bet you didn't know about!

Party Time!

Join us fellow lady bloggers!  Beginning 3/20 we will be having a blog party sponsored by 5 Minutes for Moms.  The Ultimate Blog Party 2009 will be a week of visiting fellow bloggers in their virtual homes!  There will even be prizes for participation.  To join or learn more click on the banner above or on the right column of my blog.  See you at the party!

Melt My Heart

Aellyn smiled at me today!  I mean really smiled in response to something I did (play with her nose) she smiled with her eyes and her mouth and she did it more than once.  It was magical and I actually cried!  It was such a strong emotion of seeing her personality - seeing her soul through her eyes instead of just seeing an infant.  I know that it is all going to be a rush of new things now for the next few years and I won't even be able to believe she was ever this small.  I'm torn between wanting to see more of her personality and relishing the time I have to cuddle her tiny body in my arms.

This was the last week of my husband's paternity leave (hence the bad blogging) and we have really enjoyed being lazy and just getting to know our new baby girl. It has been such a special time together and I know we will never forget it.  When he goes back to work on Monday I'm going to emerge more from my babymoon mode too.  I want to start exercising to capitalize on my pregnancy weight loss.  I bought some jeans today and I'm down a size from my prepregnancy jeans!  I'd like to keep it going but mostly I just want to get fit again from all the time on bedrest so I can keep up with Aellyn when she starts moving!

Aellyn had her 1 month check up this week.  She is 8lbs 6oz and 21 3/4 inches long.  She's growing!  I must admit that makes me feel like a goddess because every ounce and centimeter of that is from milk I made with my body.  I am woman hear me roar!

Five for Friday: Co-sleeping

Five things I love about co-sleeping with Aellyn.

1. She snuggles up close to me.  We face each other side to side all night.  If I scootch away she inches closer like a mommy seeking missile.
2. I don't have to wake up/get up when she needs to nurse.  Just roll over and offer a nipple.
3. She doesn't have to wake up and cry when she needs to nurse.  I am usually awake even before she starts to squirm.  Her needs are met before she gets verbal about it.  Most nights she never even opens her eyes all night.
4. I get to experience all her adorable stretching and satisfied sleep noises.
5. I can feel her breathe.  I don't know how I would make it through the night if she weren't in bed with us.

3 Weeks Old

My sweet baby girl! How brave and strong you are. I'm so proud of you, Aellyn. Three weeks ago you were comfortably nestled inside me where the temperature was constant and all your food, oxygen, and waste disposal was taken care of without a thought. I can't imagine how difficult the last few weeks have been for you. First that first gulp of air! How weird that must have been. And all those bright lights and loud noises. What is that new feeling? Hunger! That was new to you and it keeps on coming back every few hours. Lots of other feelings too - burps, hiccups, gas bubbles, and digestion. It must have been easier in your womb home. You've taken it all in stride with your new eyes wide open taking in your world. I've watched you unfurl from your tight fetal position as you learn to stretch out your arms and legs. Now you are finding your voice and that it can make sounds besides crying and that your crying can change depending on what you need. Although you will never remember it these have probably been the hardest weeks of your life.

I hope that being always in our arms, sleeping next to us, and nursing whenever you need it is helping you deal with this new world. I hope you can feel that you are loved and will never be alone in your new feelings and experiences. You are our dream come true and we feel honored to get to watch as you discover each new thing.

Our IVF Birth Story Video

Brown-eyed Girl