This weekend has been an emotional rollercoaster. I feel elated and SO SURE that IVF will work for us one minute and terrified the next.
I visited my grandparents this weekend and was shocked at the deterioration of my grandmother’s mental condition. She has some kind of cyst on her brain and although the doctors aren’t using the word Alzheimer’s, it is abundantly obvious to me that is what she is suffering from. She is always a little forgetful but this was full-fledged mental debilitation. She can’t make a sandwich. It is so sad. You can just see the life go out of her at the frustration of not understanding and having to concentrate on everything so hard. The whole weekend has made me very melancholy.
Whenever I visit my grandparents it always becomes a photo viewing fest! This time I felt really jealous of my cousins who have given them great-grandchildren. I’m not hateful toward them, like I might have been two years ago, I love them dearly – but there is still this lingering feeling of being robbed of everything in those pictures. Halloweens, christmases, baths, snow, puppies, etc. And all of these albums are labled “grandkids” and I just feel empty that I haven’t added to them.
Ugh, I don’t want to sink into a pity party again.
My beta today was 5,434. Yes, five THOUSAND four-hundred and thirty four. Woohoo! Since I'm not really sick or anything it is hard to "feel" pregnant so this verification that ...
Someone asked me yesterday "did you get to pick the hair and eye color?" It is like they think IVF is a lifestyle choice. Who started this crap about "designer ...
My beta was 512! 512. 512. 512.I can't believe it. We are so blessed! I don't know what else to say now...more later. ...later. Sorry for the brief post. I was ...
Symptoms so far: sore breasts light, intermittent cramping frequent urination (esp. at night) pimples! (wonderful =/ ) constant heartburn nausea (see below) EXHAUSTED! More than I knew was possible. HUNGRY! I can't go more than 3 hours without eating something or ...
Tonight I purchased a "maternity sleep bra." My ta-tas hurt so bad that it wakes me up when I move at night and since every bra I own has underwires ...
Last night before we went to sleep DH kissed my abdomen goodnight. It was a sweet ending to a wonderful day!Yesterday morning I tested with FRER (First Response ...
**secret post; not to be published until after 6/9**Ok, so blogging has been for me one of the great joys of infertility. It is theraputic and I have made ...
So today I started wearing estrogen transdermal patches - like the "stop smoking" kind only with ESTROGEN. It is really quite warm and muggy today and I have been having ...
PIO: Progesterone in Oil. Fondly referred to as that HUGE frickin' needle DH has to stab me in the butt with every night. And I'm not kidding about huge - ...
